The thing about pregnancy–and I can’t be the first to have noticed this–is that it ends with a baby.
Q. I really want to get pregnant. Is it best for me to be treated for the endometriosis, or should I just try to get pregnant? – Lynn
A. Only you can answer that question. However, some general guidelines may help. If you have mild symptoms, or no symptoms at all, there is no reason to rush to surgery. If your symptoms are debilitating, surgery will help relieve them and may enhance your chances for conception. In between, you might use the following scenario as a tool:
Picture yourself on the worst day of your cycle. Now add a crying, hungry, wet, crabby infant to the mix. If you see yourself coping well, choose pregnancy. If you see yourself in too much pain to care for your baby properly, then you need to get yourself feeling better first. Source
This is a reality worth so much more attention than it gets. At my worst times I was angry at the women who suffered “only” from infertility. If they only wanted they could adopt a baby and have plenty of health and energy to mother the child. Their main problem was that all they cared about was being biological mothers.
But now I realize that having less can give one the ability to appreciate more.
If you find a husband easily, you can completely neglect that unfathomably wonderful blessing and focus only on babies. And if you are not in physical pain etc. you can focus only on infertility, and never realize the gifts that you are given in the form of health.
But, more importantly, this is so essential to remember for the very practical treatments that are chosen (or not). Pregnancy, when achievable, does not cure endometriosis. At best, it shuts down the source of pain for the time of pregnancy and breastfeeding. But then one is left with the child to raise. And the child is left with a mother who is unable to parent.
Whenever I am having a very bad day I thank God that I do not have a baby. For it is one thing to struggle to function and realize that I am a failure as a wife in every normal sense of the word. But it would be quite another thing to realize that I was unable to properly care for my child.
The pain is bad enough. I am so thankful that I do not have to have the burden of being a bad mother on top of it.