Blood 2.0

Last month was fairly typical for the heavy bleeding that I experienced for several years, though it was the worst that it had been in the past few years. It seemed too much to deal with while working and I was surprised to remember that one of the things that had finally pushed me to actually take artificial hormones in 2008 (after having needed them for pain for so long) was the insane bleeding. There was not only the incredible weakness that comes from losing so much blood, I could not go to class without leaving multiple times. I waited once for half an hour (after all, surely a cup and pad could handle 30 minutes of blood?) only to find myself with a mess when I made it to the bathroom.

Remembering that and facing the same level of bleeding again I thought that it was nothing less than extremely stupid for me to keep resisting artificial hormones. Perhaps my overwhelmingly foggy mind is responsible for my irresponsible decisions?

But of course it passed, as it always does, and as I decided (primarily through lack of alternate decision) to see what my next menstruation would bring.

It was incredibly different from the month before. The first three days were light bleeding–sometimes only spotting. The fourth day was a Sunday, and I was fine through most of mass until the very end when I hurried to the bathroom during the final hymn. I made it in time, and the clots were blessedly small.

My pain was still minimal, so we stopped by a store on the way home. The cramps that came were so sharp that I had to crouch down on the floor, despite not wanting to embarrass my husband. The lack of pain and bleeding over the past days meant that I was still feeling well enough mentally to mostly be in awe of how sharp and sudden these pains can be. I have no idea what makes my body go from light spotting to clotting and sharp cramping. But it is so genuinely shocking that I can’t help but find it interesting if I am well enough to think clearly.

The clotting and cramping stopped within a few hours (and the clots were never that significant in themselves) and then I continued with the light bleeding and spotting through the tenth day of the cycle.

It was not bad at all, but it just seems so unhealthy. When I was younger I would often bleed for at least a week, but after experiencing a few more normal menstruations I find the prolonged bleeding troubling.


Living With Endo , , ,

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